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Facing the Unthinkable: The Emotional Toll of Losing a Child to Drug Overdose

May 16, 2024

4 mins

Jackie Rosu

SUMMARY

Nothing can take away the pain of losing a child to an overdose, but you are not alone. This guide offers ideas and resources to help you through the grieving process.


No one ever expects to lose a loved one to an overdose, especially their own child. If this is something you’re walking through, you may have feelings of shock, disbelief, and confusion. You might feel a sense of guilt or shame, wondering if there’s something you could have done differently.

Nothing can take away the pain of losing a child to an overdose, but you are not alone. This guide offers ideas and resources to help you through the grieving process.

Ways to Cope After Losing a Child to an Overdose

Losing a child is never easy. However, people who lose their child to a drug overdose face unique challenges. 

Research shows that parents who lose a child to an overdose or suicide are consistently more troubled by grief and experience more mental health challenges than parents who have lost a child to an accidental or natural cause. This may be due in part to the stigma surrounding drug addiction and mental health conditions. 

You may feel like you’re experiencing less compassion than other parents who have lost a child. This is why it’s especially important to find healthy ways to cope as you grieve. Here are a few things you can try.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Sometimes, the stigma surrounding addiction makes family members feel like they can’t grieve their loss. Any kind of loss is painful, and shutting yourself down won’t do yourself or your loved ones any favors.

Your grieving process may include crying, responding with anger, or a rollercoaster of emotions. These feelings are not a sign of failure – they are part of the natural grieving process. Allow yourself to feel them as they come instead of trying to hold them inside.

Avoid Placing Blame or Guilt on Yourself

As a parent, it can be easy to feel like any actions your child takes are a result of how you raised them. It can be tempting to ask yourself questions like:

  • Are there any signs I didn’t pay attention to?
  • Could I have been more involved in their life?
  • What wasn’t right at home?
  • Where did I go wrong?

In reality, addiction is a mental health condition that can be treated but not cured. It is not your fault that your loved one developed an addiction, and it is not your fault that they overdosed. There is nothing more you could have done and no amount of “what ifs” can change that. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Join a Support Group

Because those who have lost a child to a drug overdose face unique challenges during the grieving process, one of the most powerful coping tools is connecting with others who understand your situation. Unfortunately, your situation is not uncommon. The U.S. reported nearly 107,000 overdose deaths in 2021 alone.

There are plenty of support groups out there for those who have lost a loved one to an overdose. Never Alone Recovery hosts a free online support group every Wednesday for those with an addiction and their loved ones to receive emotional support. We’d love to have you.

Become an Advocate

Sometimes, one of the most healing things you can do after losing a loved one to addiction is to turn a negative situation into a positive outcome. Consider getting involved with organizations that work to prevent overdoses or raise money to make treatment more accessible. 

Volunteer opportunities could include:

  • Manning a drug information hotline
  • Hosting or supporting fundraising events in honor of your loved one
  • Advocating for improved policies
  • Sharing your story to help reduce stigma
  • Becoming a parent coach to help other parents navigate their child’s addiction

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care includes any practices used to prioritize your own health and well-being. Don’t overlook your own needs during the grieving process. A few self-care practices you can try include:

  • Meditating
  • Practicing mindfulness with grounding techniques
  • Eating healthy
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Moving in a way that feels good
  • Journaling
  • Getting help through therapy
  • Making time for activities you enjoy
  • Being in nature
  • Spending time with friends and family
  • Setting healthy boundaries
  • Make sure you have enough downtime

Taking a bubble bath, going for nature walks, and giving yourself room to breathe can all be effective self-care activities.

How to Support Someone Who Has Lost a Child to an Overdose

If you know someone who has recently lost a loved one to a drug overdose, it can be easy to feel like there’s nothing you can say or do. If you want to offer support, here are a few ways you can do so:

  • Don’t avoid the subject – encourage them to talk about it when they’re ready, and focus on listening as opposed to “fixing”
  • Don’t tell other people that their loved one died due to substance use
  • Send cards, flowers, and texts to let them know you’re thinking of them
  • Offer to cook meals or help with household chores
  • Don’t talk about the need to move on or accept the death
  • Encourage healthy activities by inviting them out for a calming walk or a spa night

Get Free Support & Resources With Never Alone Recovery

The Never Alone program exists solely to support those with an addiction and their loved ones. Our addiction recovery consultants would be happy to help connect you with the resources you need for yourself or a loved one. Give us a call at 866-788-8335, or check out our website for helpful guides and resources.


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